IN PURSUIT……

This morning I was sitting in my quiet place, but things were far from quiet in my mind. So, I got up and ended up seeing my sheep were out my back door. Therefore, I went out on the back porch to just look at them. As I was there, my mind got quiet and I could hear again.

If you ever have watched sheep for any length of time, there is one thing you will notice about them. They are ALWAYS eating. From the moment they open their eyes, to the time for rest,they are eating in some form or fashion. Right now, in the winter, they are scraping for any blade of grass they can find. When they are tired of that, they go to the hay stack. When they are ready to take a break, they lay down and start to chew the cud. Regardless of what it is they are eating at the moment, they are EATING.

As I watched my sheep eat, Father stepped into the silence,

“I call you my sheep, not only because your behavior is like them, but also because I want you to be like them. You see how they spend ALL their time either finding new grass, or eating hay that has been provided for lean times, or simply chewing the cud? That is what I desire for you to do. Utilize ALL your time to eat of Me. Scrape for new grass so that you may grow. In lean times, eat the “hay” that is provided for you. And when I offer a time of rest, chew the cud of those things you have eaten. Allow them to ruminate in your being as the nutrients slowly come out and bring growth to your life in Me.”

As I pondered this, I realized how easy it would be to assume He meant to simply read more of the Bible. But it was more than that. It was words from the Scriptures, as well as words from my brothers and sisters in Christ. Things we see God do in everyday moments of life. He is alive and breathing in ALL things around us and He offers us the opportunity to come and dine of Him, wherever He has allowed us to see Him in the moment. His precense is everywhere at all times, we only must learn to live in the light (the awareness) of that Holy Precense that is in ALL THINGS.

Love you, one and all,

In Pursuit…….

Tonight as I walked out to check on things on the farm, I noticed my Livestock Guardian Dog (LGD) barking up a storm. This is not that unusual in that several neighbor dogs bark about dusk. However, I stopped to listen what had him stirred up. In the distance I made out a faint sound which grew louder and louder. It was the local coyote posse getting stirred up for the upcoming hunt. As they howled and barked, Cheta, the LGD sang back a warning to them, ” stay away from my place boys!”

As I listened and the coyotes proceeded to seemingly run in the other direction, I considered it all. Around here, coyotes are one of the greatest threats to a flock of sheep. They can easily pick off a lamb or full grown sheep at will. However, as long as Cheta is on guard, the coyotes seem content to hunt elsewhere.

Knowing that coyotes, although still a threat, are seemingly held at bay, I began to ink about what is the greatest threat to my flock. Upon reflection, I determined my greatest threat is not from outside the flock, but rather from within. Let me explain.

There is one sheep left amongst my flock of 5 sheep and 13 lambs that is rather wild. She has given birth to a set of twins, and ever since has become even wilder. Now that is not such a big issue, other than she can quickly cause a stir in the whole flock. I have a habit of walking among my sheep. I like to get close to them and talk to them. I like for the, to hear my voice and be at ease with me. So each day I do this, and try to do it twice, once in the morning and once in the evening.

For a good while, this was fantastic. But now I have an issue. You see, sheep are followers, so if one takes off, typically they all do. So now the time I come and try and talk to the sheep is interrupted because this one sheep has chosen to stay a distance from me. When I approach, she quickly stirs her lambs and takes off. Before I know it, the entire flock has followed her, and as I try to move closer, she leads them on a quicker pace away.

As I thought about this, I began to realize that my greatest threat was this one sheep. She is keeping me from having the time I desire with the other sheep. She has become my enemy.

Again, as I thought this through, I began to hear that little voice in my head. It said, “My greatest threat to time with my people is also from within. Yes, the wolves are barking and howling, but I have sent my Guardians to watch over my flock. However, sometimes a wolf dresses up as a sheep, mingles with the sheep, gains the sheep’s trust, and before you know it, he is causing a distraction each time I come to be with my flock. It is not so much the lies and false doctrine, although that is a part. Mostly it is the busy-ness to do things for me, or to “serve”Me by serving my people that is the problem. It is the distraction to do instead of just be with Me. Yes, there is a Great Enemy that is without who seeks to destroy, but his greatest weapons are those he has been able to get inside the flock and my Caretakers have not recognized them.”

I am not certain of how all this applies, but I know it is very real to me as the shepherd of my flock. This one sheep is drawing the the others away from the one who loves them, therefore, that sheep’s time in the flock is VERY short. As we are told by Paul, these “sheep” must be spoken to gently, first by one, then by several, and if that does not work, they are to be considered cursed and thrown out.

As a side note however, just because a person is speaking out in disagreement with say, those claiming authority over the flock, they should not always be considered a wolf. In some instances, God raises up a prophet to deliver words of warning to free those in bondage to misguided authority. Just look at Jesus who loved the Religious leaders of his day, yet he opposed their lifestyles with passion. He ordered his disciples to obey the teachings of said preachers, but to avoid following their life examples. And you guessed it, those preachers and students of Scripture hated him for it. So dont simply write off a person who is standing opposed to your leader/pastor/teacher. Rather test him by the Spirit of Truth and allow Father to guide you in the path of Righteousness.

In Pursuit……..

Ever hear the saying, “You are what you eat!” How about, “what goes up must come down!” Here is another one, ” What goes in, will come out.”

Sheep have a knack for eating what is in front of them. As they eat, their bodies react and depending on the diet, you can see a difference in what comes out. Not to be gross, when they eat something negative, it shows.

Jesus once said that out of the heart, the mouth speaks. Meaning, what food you take in spiritually will be reflected in what you say Lately I have been overwhelmed by things I have heard and read. Things that have greatly bothered me, one in particular.

I was on good ole Faceboook, browsing the updates when I read this, “those with a poverty theology are jealous. And to make themselves feel better inside, they condemn those who are successful.” This quote was attributed to a pastor in the area I live. I pondered this statement and wondered, “would Jesus have said this to those who followed him?”

Needless to say, I opened a discussion on this with my friend on Facebook. It did not go well when I proposed this to be a statement I saw as contrary to how Jesus lived and spoke. As I went through the process, reading each response, I realized that “what goes in, comes back out.”

We are little different from the sheep. We reflect what we are being fed. If we are fed incorrectly, then we will pour out more of the same. Our lives may look grand from the outside, but if what we believe does not add up to what Jesus says, then the fact is that we remain lost in either disbelief or wrong belief, the path of which both lead to eternal destruction.

I have many pastor friends. My father is a pastor. That is a role that comes with great responsibility. A pastor is given the “job” of “feeding the sheep!” A task that caretakers for the Shepherd must not take lightly. There are also others Father has given in his flck as well, these are Guardians. Guardians are there to ensure only truth is fed to the flock. But the end goal of each should be to raise a sheep to be self sustaining, making sure only that that sheep remains close to the Good Shepherd.

Sadly, I believe we are in need of guardians who are willing to be men and women of the word and not afraid to “howl” when a word is so bluntly spoken that does not reflect the person or character of Jesus Christ. We are not on some wa through fields of daisies, rather, we are in a battle one surrounded by wolves who want to sink their fangs into the flesh of wayward sheep. Satan knows his greatest tactic with young, and even older followers, is to send them a flashy, well liked, good ole boy leader who will “tickle their ears” with words they want to hear. By doing this, he strives to keep Gods people ignorant of who God is and who we are in Him.

My prayer is that those who are currently standing a preaching will seek their Shepherd and strive to feed those they strive to lead with only truth. I pray for boldness for those who are Guardians to be willing to study and in a Christ-like manner, call out any error they may perceive. I pray that God will raise up those who will answer the call when He says, “who shall I send, and who will go for us?” I pray He will hear us say, “here am I Lord, send me,” even if the outcome is the same as what Isaiah had to see! (Isaiah 6)

After all, “is there not a cause?” (1 Samuel 17:29)

In Pursuit……

This time of year we receive several letters from friends and family updating us on what is going on in their lives. It is always refreshing to see that not everyone is bound up in keeping you updated about their life via Facebook and/or Twitter.

I was sitting here this morning in a very down mood. There are some circumstances in life that are bearing down heavily on me and I was wrestling to “rise above.” Honestly, I was not winning that battle. My facial expressions show very little sign of joy, rather they reflect a man consumed with his current situations.

As I was struggling in my own personal “miry clay,” I went to see what was on others minds, I came across my Google Reader, whlongs long been ignored, and I began to read about what God was doing in others lives. I found myself with several emotions, from goodness to jealousy. Then I read “Kisses from Katie” and I was saddened at how self focused I was. Katie told of her 11 year old girl choosing to sleep on a hard floor one night so she could remember where she came from and that others did not have a bed. Shame on me for being so focused on myself.

Needless to say, Daddy God used this little girl who I do not know to remind me of what I should remember, that He is faithful. I fancy myself as one who can be strong for others, but I rarely admit my need for strength. But when I am weak, He is shown to be mighty on my behalf.

So I thought I would take a few minutes and share what God is doing in our lives.

March of 2006 found Katie, my wife, and I in uncharted waters. What we had known as life all changed as God began to move us in directions we once thought unimaginable. That journey has had many highs and lows. We have seen great times and we have seen difficult ones. However, He has remained faithful through them all, like in 2008, when we had less than $50 to our name, and out of nowhere, a gentleman shows up and buys a piece of real estate through me, paying cash and closing in 3 days. Instantly, our needs were met and extra blessings were given. Or like when we were hungry for more of Him, and through that he set me free from chains that bound me deep within. All through the journey, He has been faithful. I cannot recall one day in which our needs have gone unmet, yet I still struggle when a slightly difficult situation arises. Still struggling with my enemy who hunkers down deep within me.

In 2011, we sold our family home in Gallatin Tn and set off on a journey to see America. Katie and I had visited CA in 2007 and always wanted to take our girls there. So we traveled with stops in Colorado, Las Vegas, San Diego, South Dakota, Chicago, Peoria Il, and St Louis. It was a wonderful six week journey.

Upon returning home, we settled in with my brother and his family back on the family farm. We eventually moved back into our old cabin Katie and I had built when we were married. Then we began a journey with becoming shepherds and learning lessons through sheep. Needless to say, it has been quite the journey.

As we did this, we took these steps trusting that God was guiding our journey. As time went by, we began to notice that time would run short on money at hand. We began to wonder what was going on and we sought God for direction. Between all the bleeting and baa-ing, all we heard was “wait.”

As we waited, a growing desire and passion grew in our hearts. I knew it was in mine, but seeing as we have three kids and fourth coming and we live in a very small home, Katie and I had little time to talk till last night (thanks Mrs Sharp)! As we talked, I realized our hearts were the same.

You see, walking with sheep has taught me much about God and his care for us. It has also taught me much about our need for one another. Sheep do not do well when left alone, they thrive in a flock, moving as one. The ones who try and go it alone always end up in a difficult situation, whether that be facing a predator or facing the slaughter house (as our knuckle head did.) Point is, we need each other.

Also, as we need each other, we also need truth. We have learned that we have spent way too much effort and time learning how to be a Christian instead of simply seeking out our Saviour and living life WITH Him. Too much time is given to surface Chrisitanity, or even false Christianity, that we miss the point, who is Christ himself.

All that being said, Katie and I are seeking out God and His people that we may join together with in one accord. Not so much seeking a church to attend on a Sunday, but rather seeking out his body whom we may do life with and see the wonders of His works.

His fire of these difficult circumstances (none quite as extreme as that little girl choosing a floor over a bed so she could remember) has driven us to Him. He has us back in a place of solace (the farm) as our hearts pound for those we know and love and for His people who long to see Him. We do not know exactly what His next step will be, but we know He is faithful even if life offers you a cold floor to sleep on.

We love you all and we pray His joy and blessings upon you and yours. Thanks for your prayers.

In Pursuit……

Well, it has been a minute since I have been here. But, as you can imagine, it has been busy. We have gone through much since the last post, including a downsizing of the flock. It just came to the point we had to cut numbers in order for us to manage the rest of life. With a baby due any day and other matters at hand, we now have 15 sheep and 11 lambs on the farm.

We also had two guard dogs on duty as we have quite the coyote problem here. Over the course of this journey, we had lost at least seven sheep and a lamb to the predators. So we brought in protection via a breed of dog known as the Bulgarian Karakachan. Unfortunately, we lost the female as she was giving birth to a litter of ten, five of which remain and we are currently raising by hand. Interesting journey which I am sure will hold lessons for us in the future.

For now, Father God has used this remaining dog to teach me once again. As I was walking with the sheep this week, I was struck with the though that I am their shepherd. I am responsible for them, to make su they have food and water. It is my job to see that their needs are met. However, I am not always there physically to protect them from harm or danger. That is what my dog does. He is a guardian or caretaker in my absence, I am never too far and am mindful of my sheep, but I trust Cheta to watch them while I am off making preparations for my family and the needs of the sheep.

Suddenly, Fsther spoke in that moment…..

“Ray, I am the Shepherd of my flock. I am then only Shepherd of my flock. It is I who am responsible for their needs being met. It is my responsibility to make sure they have food and water. However, while I am off prepping a place for them, I have put those in place to watch over them. Caretakers and guardians whose job is to protect them from danger. Danger being the wolves who try to sneak in a nd kill/destroy my flock. Guardians who immediately recognize a wolf in sheep clothing and rushes them away from My sheep. I did not forsake or give my duty as Shepherd away, but I did place some in positions to attend to my flock. They are to guard against lies and misrepresentations of My Word and to see that my flock is not led astray. This is not an easy job and comes with grave danger at times, but it a job that must be done. My Flock today is being misled into a land of complacency and immaturity, I need those who are willing to stand up, bark and howl, raise awareness to this great danger that seeks to destroy my flock.”

In Pursuit…….

On November 29th I read a devotional in which the last sentence said this, “You have realized that needing Me is the key to knowing Me intimately!”

There is no doubt this jumped out at me as my mind seemingly is in constant remembrance of the book of Job. As I pondered this, I thought of a situation I have with the sheep.

Earlier i mentioned a sheep with a lamb that we were having to Boyle feed as the mother was not producing enough milk. I had them in a pen and was constantly having to catch the lamb for feedings as it would follow moms lead and run from me. However, in the process of selling off sheep, we chose to sell the mother and try finish raising the lamb who constantly has problems.

The first day we put the lamb in a field with other lambs and mothers and hoped that we could catch her for feedings. The first attempt was difficult, but we managed and she enjoyed her bottle. The next morning something interesting happened.

As i walked into the field and called the lambs name, she came running to me. A little shocked, i stood there and fed her and when i was finished she allowed me to pet her a little. As days rolled by, this became a twice a day occurrence.

Now, i can simply enter the field and call her name (which is Babe) and she comes running. She knows me and allows me to even sit with her and enjoy some time with her. When her mother was removed she came to realize her need for me which allowed us to grow into a intimate relationship. I can now say we are friends.

So much of this reminds me of the work God was doing in Job and it reminds me of what He is doing in my life right now. Where a few short months ago things were seemingly on cruise control, now He has brut about times of struggle and difficulty. Things I do not deal well with. However, i am aware of His work and that my need for Him is growing. This need causes me to be before Him and rely on Him. Sadly, i am a man who tends to forget his need of God when life is comfortable. I hope one day this is different and I can rely on him even in the midst of comfort, but for now, I am in need which brings me to His presence. And if it takes needing Him to be able to enjoy His face, then I am where I both want and need to be.

In Pursuit…….

This draft is about 6 weeks old, but I wanted share it

This week I was privileged to have a very unusual encounter with a sheep.

I have mentioned in one of my earlier post on segregation how I have a handful (3 or 4) of sheep I refer to as my Knuckleheads. Yes, they are the loners who stay off to themselves and rarely mingle with the rest of the flock. About 10 days ago, one of these Knuckleheads had a lamb. Needless to say my first concern was whether or not this sheep would make a decent mother. She is rather wild. To my surprise, she actually stayed very close to her lamb.

As days passed, I became concerned at the seemingly lack of growth in this lamb. It was VERY lazy, sitting around most of the day sleeping. It did not prance around like the other lambs, and it seemed extremely small. I watched for several days from my front porch until it was finally decided this past Friday that I should get this lamb up in a pin for closer watch and possibly additional milk from a bottle. This also meant getting the mother up as well.

Lamb in a pin, NO problem. Mom however was a different story.

Remember, she is somewhat wild and could care less for me, especially since I was carrying her lamb. I put Ben (our dog) to work bringing mother to the pin area which was in a different pasture. I figured with lamb over there, mom would want to go that way. Instead, she blew past me and the opening and headed back up the hill. I imediately sent Ben to turn her around. At this point she was on the pond bank.

Picture this. You have a sheep with four choices. 1. turn right and go into a large open field. 2. go straight and fight the dog. 3. turn around and face the shepherd. 4. turn left and jump into the pond.

Wanna guess what route she went? Yep, she chose to do the last thing a sheep is suppose to do and went for a swim. As I watched, thinking how foolish the sheep was and also wondering if I was going to have to go in and rescue her,  she actually swam decently. Unfortunately for her, as she neared the bank to exit the pond, she found her four legs sinking in the mud, and there she was, stuck in the mud.

As I took this in, realizing she was just out of arms reach and also freezing in the cold water, I called for a rope and assistance from my wonderful wife. As I waited for the rope, I sat down and started talking to this sheep. You see, she was stuck and therefore forced to listen to me. I told her that no matter what she tried, we were eventually going to be friends.

Later that evening, as I thought about this situation, Father started speaking. He spoke of how I often am faced with choices in which He stands waiting for me, or Satan is the other way. There are other unreasonable options as well that He allows, and on occasion, I make that crazy decision and get myself stuck. However, this is His plan as when I am stuck, I can no longer run and I am forced to sit and listen to Him.

In pursuit…….

I know it has been awhile since I have written. Needless to say, it has been very eventful on the farm. After getting the dogs and sheep settled in, everything was running much smoother than before. However, there was an itch that coming back in my mind that I needed to cut back. I was uncertain whether or not this was just me or if it was Father speaking, so I pressed onward.

This past Tuesday, something snapped in me. I had had some rough days before as shown by previous post, however, this day stood out. As I began morning chores, I noticed my male guard dog out of his pen for the 5th straight day. He had found ways to get out even after I had filled in his previous holes. After rebuking him, he did not want to come back in, therefore we ended up in somewhat of a chase which ended with me catching him in the pond. But that only started the day. Minutes later I found sheep out of where they were suppose to be and the morning just got better as it started to rain on me during the search for 15 missing sheep.

Now, the reason I have not written in awhile is because Father has been rather quiet to my ears. I can tell you practical stories about how we relate to sheep, but I find them much more powerful when Father speaks to me personally in regards to lessons from sheep.

As I set out on about an hours journey of walking our farm with Ben (my border collie), I simply prayed this, “Father, it has been awhile since you have spoken to me regarding sheep, I REALLY could use a word fro you.”

Well, I did not see a hand on a wall, but when Katie experienced some minor pregnancy issues upon me returning home, I again heard that voice saying “You need to cut back.”

I will not lie, this is very hard for me. First, I don’t like to not finish what I start and I had set out to do this for  year. Granted, our original plan was to begin with 20 sheep and we grew to 120. But that aside, I still felt compelled to go forward. I also have a partner and I wanted to do see this through for them. However, there was little doubt I was in over my head.

Secondly, pride would want to push me forward. I did not want to face the music that would certainly ring from those who said I could not do this. Others who said I should not be doing this or was wasting my time. I really did not want to hear it.

Regardless of what I wanted, I knew however it was time to listen to Father and let go. You would think that wold be an easy choice, however, I have grown attached to my sheep. I like having them here and seeing babies born (like the set of twins this morning.) So as we prepare to move off all but 20 or so sheep tomorrow, I have a heavy heart on this day of Thanksgiving. I have poured out my time, effort, money, and heart into this and now I see it slipping away.

But here is what Father says. You see, I have told many lately of a lesson I have yet to share. A lesson of being intimate with those Father gives you to shepherd over (disciple) in his flock. I have told them how I have found it impossible to know so many sheep on a very close basis. You can only be intimate with a few, but those few need you to be intimate with them so they can grow. The same with sheep as with people.

I have been so busy with the many that I have not been able to grow close to the few in both realms. Father has been nudging me for weeks to cut back, however my pride has pushed me onward. But now He has broken through and the thing to do now is to learn to let go!

more to come

In Pursuit……

I know this is a slight change of pace from lately, but I felt compelled to share what Father has been teaching me through Tuett.

The past few weeks in the arena of shepherding have been somewhat stressful. From losing sheep to losing sleep, it has taken its toll. It was as if almost everyday things were getting worse. We finally brought in some LGD (livestock guarding dogs) to help out, but for the first few days they were the source of stress. They did not seem interested in staying with the sheep and the male kept getting out of his pen and guarding an empty one. They also seemed to cause the sheep to stress out and run, which is not good. I will share how this was remedied maybe in a future post if so needed.

Needless to say, I was about to pop. My focus was so intense on watching over the sheep and seeing to their needs, that I was like a pin cushion that was overloaded. This caused me to begin to focus in on my troubles and worries in every aspect of my life.  I had started all this at the prompting of Father and in hopes of being closer to my kids and wife only to find myself busier than ever before and more stressed than I had been in years! Suddenly money concerns popped up, family issues arose, and Father God faded into the background. I noticed my life spiraling out of control and I was ready to quit, literally.

Then came my son, Truett.

Truett is nearing his second birthday. He has become quite the Mr Personality. He has chosen to still not speak, but talks none stop in his own special language. He loves to run and play and especially wrestle. He loves being with his dad, even if it is to simply ride around and look at things on the farm. He is truly a source of joy.

The kids were out playing in the yard this past week as I came in from tending the sheep. Truett was doing his best to keep up with his sisters and do his thing. They each had sticks in their hands and thus the story began.

You see, I walk around the farm with a “staff” most of the time. It is helpful on a hillside farm for balance and also for clearing a path through a thicket if necessary. As I looked at Truett, he was doing his best imitation of walking with a stick like me. At that moment I did not have one, so he went and found one for me and through his gestures wanted us to walk together using our sticks.

After doing this for a minute, I sat in the yard and put my stick beside me. Truett came over, imitated my exact posture and put his stick down just like mine. Over the next few days this pattern continued in many different aspects of life. He wants to eat like me and the same thing I eat. If I sit to read, he wants a book to read as well. If I am laying down, he wants to lay down too. Whatever daddy is doing, he wants to do it too.

Through this I heard that little whisper again! That still small voice.

“Son, remember I have redeemed you to make you look just like me (Romans 8:29). My purpose and goal is for you to imitate me in every way just like your son imitates you. But in order for you to do that, you must be more like your son. You must watch me intently so you can imitate my every move. You say you want to be like Me in every way, but that requires Focus and a love beyond your imagination. Your son knows you very intimately because he watches your every move. Everything in this world is designed to distract your attention away from me, even watching over sheep. Your enemy, both within and without, longs to draw your focus away from Me. But stand firm, be like the son I have given you, and sit quietly with Me and watch my every move. As you watch, you will learn my ways and then grow into the ability to be my mirror image!”

In Pursuit……

Well, last week was a tough one on me. It started with the loss of a lamb to coyotes followed by the sudden death of two sheep, one with an illness the other with a very rare occurrence known as a prolapse. I will spare the details, but pretty much this is when a sheep coughs so hard that the insides come outside. One day after burying her, coyotes made a rare mid day attack and killed a sheep and ate in the middle of the field. Sandwiched in between was a lamb growing weak and her mom jump in a pond only to get stuck and I had to go fish her out.

I will have to admit this was hard on my heart and emotions. I am not really attached to these animals but it still works your nerves over as you feel responsible to care for them.

Our predator losses led to the decision to add guard dogs versus the miniature donkeys we were running. This is a new challenge of its own getting the dogs accustom to a new place, new animals (they were with goats) and accustom to my border collie who herds for me.

I have to admit, my nerves are worn and things seemed very dreary, however, I know there is much Father is doing through all this. I have spoken to Him regarding all this, asking for an explanation. To date He has not given a real clear answer other than to wait and watch.

In Pursuit……